Loving your kids when they don’t love you back.

Katie and I have 1- and 3-year-old boys in our home right now. Two crazy, fun, and occasionally exasperating boys with a ton of energy. They basically have two speeds: on, and off. It’s great.

If you have children, you’ve probably been through times when your kids have said things to you that touch you in ways you can’t express. Or they make you very proud as you watch them do something amazing. These are moments of joy and (hopefully mutual love). Other times, our kids are some of the deepest sources of our worry, pain, and sorrow. Why? Because we love our kids deeply, and when they hurt, we hurt. When they lash out, it’s often toward their safest place: their parents. And sometimes – because we’re human – some of the people who struggle the most are parents with their kids. Whether they are 4 or 40, having kids puts you in a blessing and character development program from God.

Now we are called to love others (Mark 12:31) and most certainly our children. What happens when they don’t love us back? My 3-year-old will get mad at me and talk back, decide he’s going to throw an epic temper tantrum. I’m sure some right now are going through other struggles with their kids: homework, potty training, growing up. And for some of us, 40 and 50 years into the parenting journey there’s still times when the love isn’t felt. So, what do you do?

“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” (1 Corinthians 13:7, NLT).

Remember, you are one of the greatest influences upon your child’s life. Choosing to turn the other cheek, or get up and try again, and to not give up does have rewards. When you keep praying for your kids, encouraging your kids, and speaking truth in love into their lives, you are demonstrating the kind of love that Paul talks about in 1 Cor 13:7. Love that won’t give up on them, but will hope the best for them, and endure even when they put you through the wringer.

Whether you’re at home potty training your child, working through homework, changing a diaper, or talking them through life’s hard points, your work is invaluable in your child’s life. Likewise, if you’re in that space of keeping up with adult children who have gone on to build their own lives and homes, your choice to pray for them, to spend the money to visit them, to encourage them and hold them up demonstrates to them God’s love for them. God has given an invaluable gift to our kids – parents. This June, if you’re walking through the fire in parenting, be encouraged not to give up. God hasn’t given up on you, and He will help you hold on to them too.