Forgiveness is a hard thing. It doesn’t mean forgetfulness, or total 100% healing of emotional or sometimes physical wounds. Forgiveness doesn’t wipe it all away or make everything like it never happened. So… what is forgiveness?
Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:21-22, NASB.
This is one of the most well-known teachings of Jesus on forgiveness. But what does he mean by it? Peter knew Jesus taught forgiveness. Matthew 6:14 is a good example. Peter seems to figure that seven times was pretty good. Jesus speaks hyperbolically, saying “seventy times seven” (or sometimes translated “seventy-seven times.”) Jesus wasn’t doing the math, He was making a point: We have been forgiven by our Heavenly Father.[1] In the same way, we need to forgive. Not saying “this once and no more,” but extending mercy and grace to our fellow man in the same way God has to us. God has paid every debt, saved us when we hated Him. Does this mean we allow someone to keep hurting us? No, and sometimes boundaries are needed. But that is different from forgiveness. So now to a definition of forgiveness. Here’s a good definition:
“Forgiveness is the release…, of any expectation that a debt will be repaid or that an offender will receive punishment for an offense…. The removal does not condone the behavior or suggest approval for the offense.”[2]
That’s a hard one. We’re told “vengeance is mine” (Deut 32:35) by God, but to give up that right to vengeance is a hard thing. And yet, is that really ours? If we have been shown such a great mercy and grace by our God, should we not also extend the same to others.
This is a “Pastor’s Thoughts” section. So, in my thoughts I have been having to work on forgiveness. I’ve had people throughout my life who have hurt me, and I’m one to try and nurse that hurt. Problem is that all it does is eat at me, cause bitterness, and I am not practicing what I preach: the love of God extended to others because of the great love we have been shown. This month, one of the lessons I’ve been learning is forgiveness – again. Seems this one takes a while to learn!
As you move into the summer months, I pray you will be refreshed and can rest well. Perhaps part of that rest might look like intentionally finding the time to work through some hurts and hangups with God, and work on the concept of forgiveness. It’s not easy, but when we practice it we free ourselves and them, and entrust them to God. We allow them and ourselves to be free, and to heal. Forgiveness is a hard thing, but fortunately, by the grace and mercy shown us, we can show it to others. I pray you can experience this in new ways this July.
[1] Cornerstone commentary, Matthew, p. 242
[2] J. David Stark, “Forgiveness,” in Lexham Theological Wordbook, ed. Douglas Mangum et al., Lexham Bible Reference Series (Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press, 2014).